The story starts at a time in my life when I wasn’t sure the direction I wanted to go. I never attended college, Right after high school it was straight to the grind. I had an amazing work ethic and found myself excelling in retail management, the dream right? Definitely not. I wasn’t living the healthiest lifestyle because unhappiness tends to hide itself in addiction. I loved to drink, loved to smoke and found any reason to go out, Somehow I made this all fit in with some overtime every week. I was in a downhill slope to say the least. One night I went out for drinking with some friends ( Our weekly Tuesday ladies night ) and I meet someone. He wasn’t living the healthiest lifestyle but he was training for MMA and besides the random drinking he ate healthy, exercised and didn’t smoke. I feel for this boy pretty hard. I wanted to do whatever I could for him to like me. So I threw away the cigarettes, started working out heavily and even joined the MMA gym. Then came the job, Now that I spend my free time at the gym or with said guy I didn’t work over time or put my heart and soul into something that didn’t make me happy. I soon left retail and found side jobs, One was promo modeling and Brand Ambassador work. They weren’t the steadiest but hey they paid the bills and I had more freedom to create my own schedule.
At this point guy and I were beginning to have issues. See when two people are still very unclear on who they are and beginning to make these changes they drift apart. I was so happy to finally be healthy, fit and making moves. While Guy had lost a recent MMA fight and was falling down his slope. He became depressed and took some time off from life. By this I mean he found his reality in a game called Fort Night. No more work, no more gym, no more anything except this game. I saw a bit of myself in him during this time and I held compassion. I tried to hold the space for him and not take it personally but I did feel replaced. I would have to choose going to the gym we once went to together or stay home and watch him play video games with his friends.
In the end we drifted so far apart we split. I had began to have feelings for someone else at the gym I was going to. Who supported me and the changes I was making and showed me I deserved to be acknowledged and supported. I had asked guy to move out and we broke up, I wish I could say it was that easy but as all relationships are it wasn’t. I could not let go and kept believing that guy would change while the person that actually supported me was left in this love triangle. Its easy to look back after the wounds have healed how the wrong person was always the wrong person but we hold on thinking we can change someone. During this time I started asking myself “ What do I want to do that will make me happy?” I had always loved yoga and I felt that I was now physically fit enough to complete a training and use my skills in the martial arts gym I was attending, I bounced between yoga teacher or personal trainer but It came down to me wanting a more spiritual experience. I wanted to transient these emotions and help others do so through movement and breath.
I found Holistic Yoga school while doing a Promo for Deep Eddy Vodka in Old Town Fort Collins, It was a brunch promo on a Sunday and living in Brighton I had made the hour drive. I researched yoga schools prior and this one stood out. I decided why not check it out while in the area, So I did. I was welcomed so sweetly by Nikki one of the teachers at the studio who had completed her teacher training at the studio. She informed me a training started in two months and next week was the cut off date for registration and the deposit to save my spot. I wasn’t in the best spot to afford the deposit but I went for it, I asked one of my friends named Chris who I knew had my best interests at heart and cared for me. He said go for it, “I could see you being an amazing yoga instructor”. Chris is actually one of the only friends who I still keep close contact with that I knew before my training. I hold so much gratitude for the universe drawing me to such a teacher and a friend. Thanks to Chris this is how I am able to convey my message to you through this website and blog. Hold the ones that drive you and do the same for them. Huge shout out to Chris he is currently enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training this Spring!
I made heaps of friends while in training, Yoga draws like minded people in one room and you open up. I made some of the best friendships from my training and all thirteen girls felt like my sisters. We all ranged from ages 18 – 46, Each person had their own reason for coming to this training and each had so much love and compassion it was inspiring being in a room with them. We pushed each other to open up passed the barriers of fear and we all supported each other. I still keep in contact with my fellow teachers and I love to see what they are up to, Seeing each teach a different studios, learn new skills, expand families and many more exciting events to come brings a smile to my face. A true sisterhood is one where you don’t need to talk everyday but you know deep down that if you called that person it would be like not a minute has slipped.
Yoga training started in January 2019 and I was certified in June 2019, I took the longer module route rather then the 21 day intensive. I accept I am a slow learner and I needed that time to integrate a true mediation and yoga practice within my routine. I wanted to spend as much time as I could nurturing the process so when it was time to teach I felt confident. Everyone learns differently so find what best speaks to you, No one knows you better than yourself. One of the many things I have learned from this journey.
Since completion of my 200 hour training I have packed up and left my home town Colorado to teach yoga in Panama. This is only the first stop of many and I cannot wait to see where yoga takes me and the people I get to teach along the way.
Yoga is a lifelong journey, It’s never too late to start that journey,
Jessica
